i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
