I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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