Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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