she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
