My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
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I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
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She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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