Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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