Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
