our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
