gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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