Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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