yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
