It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
