she woke up with a sticky ear
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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