32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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