my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
