i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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