Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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