The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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