The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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