i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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