I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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