my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We had to coat check the pizza.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
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