oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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