is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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