Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
