I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
