I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just found puke in my bra..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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