We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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