when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
