her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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