What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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