It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
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The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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