I feel great
I just peed on a car
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
