When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
