Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.