You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"