My underwear smells like fireworks.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
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So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
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All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
my nose is crying tears of wow.