I can tuck mytits in my pants
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
