i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
be right there i have to get my cape
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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