You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
