Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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