i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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