My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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