Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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