Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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