I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
