ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
