Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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