You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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