Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
