There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Shame is for Republicans.
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