Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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