somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize