We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
