Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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