I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The power of my boobs compel you
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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