I hate your face
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
