he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
