You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
