He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
