no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize