Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
