There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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