Are we in a gay sports bar?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
